Blind Sighted

I used to think that Venetian blinds were called Phoenician blinds (as in a letter from the Phoenicians to the Corinthians. My further thought was “Wow! They not only wrote; they invented window treatments!”) Unrelated sidebar: I thought a juke box was called a Jute Box (as in the Jutes and the Saxons or the Visigoths.) Anybody see an emerging pattern of difficulty in misnaming groups of people?

But back to these Phoenician blinds. A word to the wise: Put the frumpy curtains back up. You’ll be happier. Blinds last forever, but they’ll break your heart.

For instance, the wand on the left that opens and closes the slats. Well, if you lose one of those (say because one of your male children needed to use it as a sword when playing Zorro with a friend back in 1990), then the only way to open and close the slats is to stand on tippy toe and, using little monkey fingers, twist, twist, twist, twist, each morning, each night.

And that little plastic widget on the right, the one that holds the two strings together so that when you raise the blind, the left side is even with the right side – when that plastic piece comes off, you have to make a concerted effort to keep the bottom bar straight across. There are members in the family that can’t, don’t, won’t take the effort to make sure it looks straight, and you’ll be the one with a suspected case of Turrets when you roam through the rooms yelling “White trash!” “White trash!” (I have no problem naming this group of people).

The ravages of time will destroy the top mechanism of the blinds, too, and where once all you had to do was grasp the strings, give a little tug, then step away, the day comes when you have to grip the bottom of the blinds with your left hand and simultaneously pull down and yank out, pull down and yank out, pull down and yank out with your right until the strings catch (a sequence of moves that’s directly related to the number of years you’ve owned the blinds AND to your personal penchant for dusting).

Anyway, I guess I’ll try to order some new parts for my blinds. Do you think Levalor will know what I’m talking about when I say I need two new Zorro wands? This could prove difficult. But you know what’s NOT difficult to order? Small but Tall Cakes. And speaking of cakes . . .

Cakes - It’s all about comments:

“Don’t walk. Run to your nearest computer and order one!” people say.
“This cake is so good, it must be twins!” some enthuse.
“If this cake were any better, I’d order two!” exclaimed a fan.


Cakes – It’s all about trivial facts:

One cake will feed an army (if the size of the army is 12 to 15 folks)
At $20.00 a cake, some say it’s cheap. We prefer “bargain.”
Dimensions don’t vary – 6 inches around – 3 layers high
To order, contact me at btall50@aol.com


Cakes – It’s all about choices:

Chocolate with white frosting (cream cheese & butter)
Chocolate with chocolate frosting (fudge chocolate)
Yellow with white frosting (cream cheese & butter)
Yellow with chocolate frosting (fudge chocolate)