PARENTING: "BOO" NOT . . . LEST YE BE BOO'D!!!

KEEPING your kids safe – that’s good parenting. But making your kids FEEL safe – that’s great parenting.


I didn’t appreciate the distinction while I was actually IN the swamp, wrastling the alligators, but I’ve heard my children’s spin on what spooked them, and some therapist is going to conclude that it’s scary how much of it occurred on MY watch.


So maybe it wasn’t the swuftest idea to check out a copy of Stephen King’s Pet Cemetery at the video store for my second grader and his friends. He never did look at Fluffy the same way again!


Equally ill advised was choosing to “augment” the National Weather Service’s alert by yelling “TORNADO! TORNADO! TAKE COVER IN THE BASEMENT – NOW!” when visiting relatives in Kansas! Keeping them safe? You bet I was. Did they feel secure; any shrink would say, “I think not.”


I’m still waiting for the Department of Social Services to visit our home on some anonymous “tip” about the time I draped a blanket over my head and encouraged our baby to pull it off – only to reveal a horrifying Cyclops mask over my face. Cry??? The child’s wail could have raised the dead!


We didn’t seem to have many issues with the middle child. I guess she just remained ‘above the ‘fraid.’


Well, I won’t make the same mistakes again with my grandkids – if they’re allowed to visit us. I’ll ply them with cookies and cakes and they’ll yearn to see their grammie, who’ll read stories to them at bedtime, sometimes Goodnight Moon and sometimes one of my favorites, the one that starts out “Johnny, I’m on the first step. Johnny, I’m on the second step. Johnny . . ..”

CAKE COMMENTS:

“My mother’s a Monster! She won’t buy me a Small But Tall,” moaned one fan.

“You’ve never tried a Small But Tall? What are you – an ALIEN?” asked an enthusiast.

“The day I stop liking Small But Talls is the day the earth stands still,” shrilled another fan.



CAKE FACTS:

One Small But Tall will feed 15 pigmy gremlins or 12 of THEM ants!