BIG LIPS AND BRAIDS!!!
August! The end of summer looms!!! Are you one of those people who have already started their Christmas shopping? Me neither. But I have taken down and dusted off my Wish List: The toppers are "the unanimous three," back by popular demand: (1) world peace; (2) global freedom from hunger; and (3) universal eradication of deadly diseases.
In a more personal vain – er, I mean vein – in a more personal vein , I’ll be asking for the same things I’ve been yearning for since I was 17 - big lips and braids!! In my mind, these two attributes form the benchmark for beauty.
There is no girl so beautiful that her comeliness won’t be enhanced by long flowing tresses that someone could plait. Myself? The longest my hair ever got was around the time I got married. When I look at my wedding pictures today, all I see is someone in a long white dress looking queerly like Prince Valiant. I had five bridesmaids; don’t you think ONE of them could have told me what a bad idea bangs were?
And as far as big lips, they speak for themselves! A plump, lush mouth is the way to go. The market is awash with products to help a girl achieve this Anderson/Jolie/Hargitay look, but you have to be careful and not apply too many of them at one time or else you’ll end up looking like the drunken Vivien Leigh in the movie, “Ship Of Fools.” Remember her applying her lipstick, lurching across her cabin, a glob of Poison Apple Red zigzagging from mid-mouth to her ear?
If you can’t afford cosmetic artifices, just do what I do: Pout. That’s right. Pouting gives you instant Duck-Lips. Sure, it's a temporary fix. That’s why it’s going to be important for you to adopt an attitude of disgruntlement and peeve. That way, you’ll find yourself pouting five, six, seven times a day.
Hankering for things year after year is exhausting and not for the faint of heart. It takes commitment and strength. Every once in a while, if I feel sort of puny, I’ll fortify myself with a little sweet snack, be it candy, cookies, cake. Hey, speaking of cake . . .
CAKE COMMENTS:
“Small But Tall cakes will make you flip your WIG!” gushed one fan.
In a more personal vain – er, I mean vein – in a more personal vein , I’ll be asking for the same things I’ve been yearning for since I was 17 - big lips and braids!! In my mind, these two attributes form the benchmark for beauty.
There is no girl so beautiful that her comeliness won’t be enhanced by long flowing tresses that someone could plait. Myself? The longest my hair ever got was around the time I got married. When I look at my wedding pictures today, all I see is someone in a long white dress looking queerly like Prince Valiant. I had five bridesmaids; don’t you think ONE of them could have told me what a bad idea bangs were?
And as far as big lips, they speak for themselves! A plump, lush mouth is the way to go. The market is awash with products to help a girl achieve this Anderson/Jolie/Hargitay look, but you have to be careful and not apply too many of them at one time or else you’ll end up looking like the drunken Vivien Leigh in the movie, “Ship Of Fools.” Remember her applying her lipstick, lurching across her cabin, a glob of Poison Apple Red zigzagging from mid-mouth to her ear?
If you can’t afford cosmetic artifices, just do what I do: Pout. That’s right. Pouting gives you instant Duck-Lips. Sure, it's a temporary fix. That’s why it’s going to be important for you to adopt an attitude of disgruntlement and peeve. That way, you’ll find yourself pouting five, six, seven times a day.
Hankering for things year after year is exhausting and not for the faint of heart. It takes commitment and strength. Every once in a while, if I feel sort of puny, I’ll fortify myself with a little sweet snack, be it candy, cookies, cake. Hey, speaking of cake . . .
CAKE COMMENTS:
“Small But Tall cakes will make you flip your WIG!” gushed one fan.
“When you said you would get me a cake, I hope you weren’t just giving me lip service,” pouted another enthusiast.
“Feeling down in the mouth?” queried one customer, “A Small But Tall will cheer your right up!”
CAKE FACTS::
One Small But Tall will feed 15 L’Oreal patrons but only 12 Wet’N’Wild ones.
posted by Small but Tall | 9:13 AM
1 Comments:
Mary Ellen: I'm confused by this process and typed one comment but then was forced to go through a sign up process I didn't understand. Pathetic I know. My comment, at the risk of repetition, was that I knew you were witty, charming and talented but I didn't know your pen was so poetic!
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