FAMILY GET-TOGETHER? BETTER CHECK YOUR DRAWERS!
The other day my daughter (we’ll call her ‘Rose’) called me up in a dither. She’d happened to see a photo of her sister (let’s call her ‘Leah’) on Internet’s Your Face or some such, and in the picture Leah was wearing one of Rose’s favorite jackets!
Apparently Rose had been looking for this particular jacket forever and was incensed to discover that Leah had it.
Well, what could I do? Naturally, I jumped on the bandwagon and denounced Leah’s weak character and loose moral fiber. By the end of our conversation, Rose was pretty certain that I liked her the best.
But then I got to thinking of Leah’s behavior and I realized it really wasn’t entirely her fault. Blame goes to me for shoddy parenting because I ‘m the one who failed to inform my kids of the time-honored practice that goes on in every family: the redistribution of wealth among siblings (ROWAS) – a/k/a unauthorized borrowing – a/k/a petty theft.
The rules of ROWAS are simple and few. Rule 1: Don’t take something when YOU are the only suspect (not enough cover). And Rule 2: Never take expensive things (you’re snatching objects that are convenient, not items that are costly – hence ‘petty’ theft).
I am 1 of 9 kids, and when all of us ‘usual suspects’ (along with our personal paraphernalia) get together for the holidays and temporarily live under one roof again, there is one unifying thought that binds us all: “Oh, my God! Easy pickings!” The pilfering is RAMPANT. Particularly among the girls.
In fact, I remember one Christmas when someone wiped out practically my whole collection of underpants! No, kidding. “Thursday” through “Sunday” – Gone! And my Bonnie Bell blemish concealer – Vanished. My shower-fresh Ban Roll-On – “Huh? I never even knew there was deodorant in the third drawer from the left behind the cotton balls!”
Man, reliving bygone days doesn’t always leave you feeling warm and fuzzy, does it? Like if you saw my face right this moment, you’d think somebody had licked the icing off my cake! Hey, speaking of cake . . . . .
Cake Comments:
“What do you call eating a piece of Small-But-Tall on a Thursday night??” quizzed one fan. “Cake night No. 1!”
“I’d gladly pay you Tuesday for a Small-But-Tall today,” entreated another customer.
“It seems like a month of Sundays since I’ve had a Small-But-Tall,” whined one enthusiast.
Cake Facts:
One Small-But-Tall will feed 15 Victoria’s Secret patrons or 12 Sears-Roebuck shoppers.
Apparently Rose had been looking for this particular jacket forever and was incensed to discover that Leah had it.
Well, what could I do? Naturally, I jumped on the bandwagon and denounced Leah’s weak character and loose moral fiber. By the end of our conversation, Rose was pretty certain that I liked her the best.
But then I got to thinking of Leah’s behavior and I realized it really wasn’t entirely her fault. Blame goes to me for shoddy parenting because I ‘m the one who failed to inform my kids of the time-honored practice that goes on in every family: the redistribution of wealth among siblings (ROWAS) – a/k/a unauthorized borrowing – a/k/a petty theft.
The rules of ROWAS are simple and few. Rule 1: Don’t take something when YOU are the only suspect (not enough cover). And Rule 2: Never take expensive things (you’re snatching objects that are convenient, not items that are costly – hence ‘petty’ theft).
I am 1 of 9 kids, and when all of us ‘usual suspects’ (along with our personal paraphernalia) get together for the holidays and temporarily live under one roof again, there is one unifying thought that binds us all: “Oh, my God! Easy pickings!” The pilfering is RAMPANT. Particularly among the girls.
In fact, I remember one Christmas when someone wiped out practically my whole collection of underpants! No, kidding. “Thursday” through “Sunday” – Gone! And my Bonnie Bell blemish concealer – Vanished. My shower-fresh Ban Roll-On – “Huh? I never even knew there was deodorant in the third drawer from the left behind the cotton balls!”
Man, reliving bygone days doesn’t always leave you feeling warm and fuzzy, does it? Like if you saw my face right this moment, you’d think somebody had licked the icing off my cake! Hey, speaking of cake . . . . .
Cake Comments:
“What do you call eating a piece of Small-But-Tall on a Thursday night??” quizzed one fan. “Cake night No. 1!”
“I’d gladly pay you Tuesday for a Small-But-Tall today,” entreated another customer.
“It seems like a month of Sundays since I’ve had a Small-But-Tall,” whined one enthusiast.
Cake Facts:
One Small-But-Tall will feed 15 Victoria’s Secret patrons or 12 Sears-Roebuck shoppers.
posted by Small but Tall | 1:02 PM
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