BE IT EVER SO HOVEL . . .
There’s a new study out that reports that 1 in 14 people who are away from home for the first time and left to their own devices experience a case of what the experts call “homesickness. “ Seriously. I heard this reported as ‘news’ on the morning news.
It so happens that I, too, suffer homesickness but of a different sort. And I have some supporting statistics of my own that illuminate my plight. For instance, how sick is this:
In our home, there is a black circle burned into the linoleum kitchen floor 10.5 inches in circumference. It’s a permanent reminder that you don’t use your bare hand to remove the lid from a cast iron pot that’s baked in a 350-degree oven for 45 minutes . Sick.
In our home, you can make the broken shower door stay partially closed 4 out of 5 times if you reach your hand out and open the second drawer of the sink-vanity to stop the door from swinging open. The door will stay all the way closed (100 % closure) if you use a spring-loaded jumbo black clip; but the chances of remembering to get one from the basement BEFORE you get in the shower are zilch to nil. Sicker.
In our home there are 12 folding doors, of which 2 doors (16.6%) cannot be opened at all for fear of crashing to the floor and so are permanently sealed with see-through plastic 3-inch wide shipping tape; 8 doors (73.3% ) can be opened by pulling on the knobs; 1 door (8.3%) can be opened by gently grasping its perimeter and sliding it along its grooved track; and 1 door (8.3 %) can be opened by simultaneously pushing in, holding up, and yelling “Fornicating Jezebel,” as you let go of the louvers. Sickest.
In short, I guess homesickness of any definition can put you in the doldrums. And when I get blue, the best cure I’ve found is eating a big old piece of cake. Hey, speaking of cake . . . .
Cake Comments:
“This cake is through the ROOF!,” enthused one fan.
“Small But Talls are the FOUNDATION of exquisite desserts,” stated a busy homemaker.
“These cakes put the “Sweet” back in Home Sweet Home,” exclaimed one giddy customer.
Cake Fact:
One cake should feed 12 burly carpenters or 15 general contractors.
It so happens that I, too, suffer homesickness but of a different sort. And I have some supporting statistics of my own that illuminate my plight. For instance, how sick is this:
In our home, there is a black circle burned into the linoleum kitchen floor 10.5 inches in circumference. It’s a permanent reminder that you don’t use your bare hand to remove the lid from a cast iron pot that’s baked in a 350-degree oven for 45 minutes . Sick.
In our home, you can make the broken shower door stay partially closed 4 out of 5 times if you reach your hand out and open the second drawer of the sink-vanity to stop the door from swinging open. The door will stay all the way closed (100 % closure) if you use a spring-loaded jumbo black clip; but the chances of remembering to get one from the basement BEFORE you get in the shower are zilch to nil. Sicker.
In our home there are 12 folding doors, of which 2 doors (16.6%) cannot be opened at all for fear of crashing to the floor and so are permanently sealed with see-through plastic 3-inch wide shipping tape; 8 doors (73.3% ) can be opened by pulling on the knobs; 1 door (8.3%) can be opened by gently grasping its perimeter and sliding it along its grooved track; and 1 door (8.3 %) can be opened by simultaneously pushing in, holding up, and yelling “Fornicating Jezebel,” as you let go of the louvers. Sickest.
In short, I guess homesickness of any definition can put you in the doldrums. And when I get blue, the best cure I’ve found is eating a big old piece of cake. Hey, speaking of cake . . . .
Cake Comments:
“This cake is through the ROOF!,” enthused one fan.
“Small But Talls are the FOUNDATION of exquisite desserts,” stated a busy homemaker.
“These cakes put the “Sweet” back in Home Sweet Home,” exclaimed one giddy customer.
Cake Fact:
One cake should feed 12 burly carpenters or 15 general contractors.
posted by Small but Tall | 1:39 PM
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